Use Your Smile to Change the World. Don't Let the World Change Your Smile.

Week 2-3 after Chemo 2:

Granted, last week was a bit of a nightmare. I had two choices, I could either dwell on the disaster that occurred here at home, curl up in a ball and close out the world,  or I could move on. Not necessarily forget what happened, but taking things a little easier. I had gone to the chemist to get hold of the epipen, that is now residing in my handbag. I took forms to my doctor that needed filling in, picked up sick notes for work, filling in any necessary information that was required. Now I await an appointment with an immunologist to find out what exactly had caused the anaphylactic shock. All in good time. In the meantime, I have something exciting to get ready for. Yes being the stubborn individual that I am, I am not letting cancer dictate my life plans. I had (as I am sure that I have previously mentioned) booked a trip to Budapest for the beginning of December. That was booked last July, before cancer had ever made itself known to me, and yes... I still have every intention of going on this longed for trip. There are 8 of us heading off Mary, Carol, Deirdre, Suzanne, Ber, Olive, Irene and Myself. Look out Budapest!

Having taken things relatively easy for most of the week, on Thursday I met up with Suzanne and we took a trip to Gorey where we shopped in Dunnes and Heatons. Budapest is cold at this time of the year and so warm winter woollies would be a necessity. Having no hair also meant that hats would play a big role in keeping me warm. Trying on the hats in the shops was quite an entertainment. I was lucky enough to find a dress to match one of my hats too. After spending a couple of hours shopping, we took our parcels back to the car as tiredness was creeping in. I rang Gerry to let him know we were on our way home. Gerry put on the kettle and had a cuppa ready for when we arrived. There were other bits and pieces we needed so we made arrangements to go to Newbridge on Saturday shopping once more for our break away. 

I drove up to Dublin on the Saturday where I met up with Suzanne and Saragh. We all piled into the one car and headed off. Heading up we laughed most of the way. I have never been shopping in Newbridge, but the change was very refreshing. We headed off to Penny's. Here I was lucky to spot two jumpers I liked straight away.  I also picked up a couple of pairs of leggings and a further long jumper/dress. I rarely spend money on myself so these two shopping trips were an absolute treat. We strolled around the shopping centre for a while popping in and out of a variety of shops. Then the treat of the day... A KFC. I haven't had one for some time, at least a couple of years. I was quite looking forward to it. However... What is the one thing that I conveniently forgot..... Chemo buggers up your taste buds, but, the aroma and the texture of the food in my mouth helped me to imagine how tasty  this fare was. It was nice that we were joined by one of Suzanne's friends for lunch, and stories they told about adventures they had had over the years had Saragh and myself smiling and laughing. 

For a few hours, strolling around the shopping centre, making purchases, laughing and joking had me almost forgetting that I was walking around carrying a few potentially life threatening tumours in my body. Apart from the profuse sweating and wearing a cap to cover my head, everything else was relatively 'Normal'. We had all our shopping and looked at the time, it was heading towards three o'clock and I had to pick up my car and drive to Arklow. It was time that we started to leave Newbridge. I intend to go back there shopping it was a nice change. We got into the car and dropped Suzanne's friend back to her house. We then hit the road for the return journey home. 

We arrived at Suzanne's, I picked up my shopping and got into my own car. We said our bye byes and I got onto the motorway and made my way back to my family. I got home to be greeted by my three men. I showed off my purchases and sat and laughed and chatted about my day. I went and sat down as I was feeling quite tired at this point. Gerry and I were going to head on out this evening, so a short rest would do me the world of good and help to rebuild my now depleting energy. I reclined back and in no time at all had drifted off into the land of nod. Clearly the rest was needed. I woke around 7 pm. I headed up for a refreshing shower, re-did my make-up and got dressed. By 8 pm. Gerry and I were heading out to John Joe's for an evening together. It was nice and quiet and we sat there putting the world to rights. After a couple of hours we headed up home. Gerry had his few pints and I had my lime juice and water with lots of ice. The handy thing at the moment is, I am doing the driving so the savings on taxi fare and not having to wait around is great. We hopped into the car and were home in two shakes of a lambs tail. 

Yes today, Sunday, is grocery shopping day. Now recalling how last Sunday's shopping trip went, I wasn't particularly looking forward to this one. We were up at around nine(ish) and a cooked breakfast was had, thanks to Gerry. The boys tidied up and Gerry and I decided to go and do the shopping. Well, lo and behold.... yes you have guessed it, the moment we stared shopping, my hands started to itch, oh yes, this was no normal itch, this was that insane, aggravating itch that had you wanting to tear off your skin. I said all the prayers know to man that it would stop and not spread to my feet or anywhere else for that matter. I was walking around rubbing my hands up and down the legs of my jeans.  When that wasn't working, I was in the freezer isle holding bags of frozen peas and mixed veg. All the laughing and smiling I had been doing over the past couple of days were now turning into grimaces and fear that this was going to go the same way as it did last week. We finally put the last items into the trolley and went to the check out. We then hastily made our way to t he car and headed home... Not before however a quick stop in tescos for a couple of bargains Gerry had seen in the week..... AAAARRGGGHHH..... my hands were now burning with the itch! Of course!!! Tesco has a chemist.... I semi-frantically headed over to the chemist at the back of the store. Before the pharmacist had a chance to nod a hello, I blurted out:

"Hi have you got an antihistamine I can take whilst on chemotherapy?"

I showed her my hands as they were starting to swell slightly, thankfully there was an antihistamine available and as it happens it was the same that I was given from the hospital. I gleefully took these home and took a tablet. The difference was almost instantaneous. Delighted, relieved and thankful were only a few of the feelings I had. 'Touch Wood' I have not had a problem with my hands since.... Note to self.... Pack the antihistamines along with the steroids, anti sickness tabs and the epipen.... 

Monday was a total washout, Gerry and I spent the day watching TV and chatting about the upcoming trip. Tuesday was quite different however. Gerry had a day that was good enough to go to work, and I had an appointment at the hospital. But first things first. I was dropping papers over to work. It was the first time I would have set foot in work since going off sick. I had a lovely greeting from all I met, but the greetings that affected me the most were those from three of my pupils. I teach in a class for pupils with autism. I met the first little fellow in the corridor going on a message with his teacher.

"Oh Mrs Murphy, are you back?" with a beautiful big smile on his face. 

"Not today Little Man"

"But I miss you"  He said and started to cry. 

"I'll be back before you know it, Now promise me you will work hard for your teacher and be a great boy, and give me a high five!" 

"Ok!" He said and headed back to his class with a smile. 

I saw a second pupil of mine in his mainstream class. 

"Oh Mrs. Murphy, I miss you!" 

Oh how this pulls at your heartstrings. I went off to the other side of the building to say Hi to a couple more people, and saw a third pupil of mine.

"Mrs Murphy, you have new glasses" He went to reach for them but was reminded not to touch the glasses. 

What really amazed me, was that not one of the ASD pupils bothered or noticed that I now had no hair, and that I looked quite different from the last time they had all seen me. It was fantastic. But what really made me feel 100 ft tall, was the comment from one of the boys as he was going out for his playtime at first break. As he walked past, he gently touched my hand and said:

"Mrs Murphy, You are beautiful!" 

Swallowing a lump, while smiling is not easy, I said thank you then headed back towards the door. It was time for me to leave. The hospital beckoned, a visit to Dracula was on the cards. 

I headed off to St. Vincent's where I had a short wait for the blood requests, then headed to the waiting area to have blood taken. I took my ticket, no.63 had just been called, I looked at my ticket... No. 90... Oh well, not to worry. I sat and relaxed, and saw a number of people I knew at the hospital. It is scarily frightening how many people from the Co. Wicklow area are attending the oncology ward.  Breast, Stomach, Bowel and other cancers seem to be very prevalent in this part of the country. Why? Is it because we are directly across the water to Sellafield and Whylfa Power Stations in the UK? Is it what has been dumped into the Irish Sea prior to when stricter regulations were put into place? Is it food additives (but if this was the case, would not the cancer rate be just as high in other counties? What exactly is creating this awful disease to be so rampant in this area? 

Following the bloods it was back home for me. Joe and Jim managed to get me a suitcase from the attic. Time to start packing and to get ready for my adventure. However, before this adventure can begin, I first have to attend my third chemo on Thursday. This will be my half way mark to the end of my chemo treatment. How quickly I have come to this half way point of chemo. Having been diagnosed on the 2nd October 2015 and now I'm at the 2nd December, these two months have flown by. It is not unlike being hit by a tsunami and washed for miles in a very shot space of time, there is just so much that happens that you just get dragged along at a speed that is now out of your control. It is all a means to an end, to a full recovery from this frightening parasite called cancer. 

I wish you all a lovely weekend, I will by flying off on Friday morning and will update you all on the success of travelling with cancer on my return. Look out Budapest we are on our way ;)