Appreciation can make a day – even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary. -Margaret Cousins

Sunday 24th Jan 2015

I am just posting a short addition to my blog today, the reason being that if you recall from earlier blogs, I fought hard to be given a bilateral mastectomy due to the fact that surgeons will not remove healthy tissue. However because of the triple negative issue, a bilateral mastectomy made sense as the odds of cancer returning were quite high. Although this was the case, my consultant agreed with me to a degree but wanted me to have the cancerous breast removed first and the second one six months down the line.... Nope.... My surgeon carried out the bilateral mastectomy, but each time he sees me he asks me "Do  you have any regrets yet?" Here is a letter I wrote to him answering this question for the final time.

Dear Mr. G.....

I am writing to  you as I feel that I need to put your mind at ease.

As you know, I was sadly diagnosed with breast cancer on Friday 2nd October 2015. A date that will remain in my head for the rest of my life. When you broke this news to me, little did you know that across the table from you sat a strong willed, bull headed, middle aged woman, who had to comfort her husband on her diagnosis as opposed to the other way around. A woman who was prepared to fight this like so many before her. 

Mr G.... , you told me to bring my next of kin, instead I brought a tribe, the first indication that I was 'different'. When I knew that I would need a mastectomy and lymph nodes removed, I knew immediately that I was going to insist on a bilateral mastectomy. When I mentioned this I was told not to jump ahead, and that it was preferred not to remove healthy tissue. I immediately decided to go home and do my research. 

I went home and I read arguments for and against the bilateral operation. I looked at statistics of the chances of cancer returning, I even went as far as looking at my legal rights and the possibility of perhaps having to consider surgery abroad. Yes Sir, I was that determined. I spoke to Eileen over the phone expressing my concerns and my reasons for wanting the bilateral mastectomy.

Once chemotherapy had been deemed as no good for my general health, surgery was brought forward. A date set for us to discuss my operation. My biggest fear was not being heard, listened to or understood. However, I was lucky, I had you sitting opposite me. I expressed my worry about not being listened to, about how I worried about my own mental and psychological health should I be left with one breast, about my fear of the cancer returning. And you listened!

We discussed the fact that the cancer was bordering on triple negative which raised the stakes in my favour. You did try to dissuade me but I would not back down. Once again, you listened!

You asked me if I would consider having the cancerous breast removed first and the second breast removed a few months later, I refused that option. Yet again you listened!

Mr.  G...... You carried out my wishes, you took what I had said and you took on board my worries and fears and my cancer, and you took them away.

I know and understand that what you did for me went against the grain and against all that you stand for in the preservation of healthy tissue, however, in doing the bilateral mastectomy you kept me as symmetrical as a human body can be, you kept me balanced, you kept me sane and you aided in reducing the risk of the cancer returning. You listened and you understood me. 

Yes I am sorry and devastated at having to have lost my breasts, but neither you or I did that. Cancer did that on 2nd October 2015. 

Saving a breast because it is healthy tissue is not always the right thing to do for a person, saving their life and sanity is. 

I will never be able to thank you and your amazing team of doctors and nurses who have cared so wonderfully for me. I have no regrets.

Thank you once again, I wish you great health, happiness and wealth, a long happy life, everything that I wish for myself. 

Kind Regards Always 

Your Patient

Elaine Murphy

'A daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, an auntie, a teacher - happy with no regrets'