Aches, Pains and Feeling Blue!

Weeks one and two after Chemo:

Many have contacted me via facebook asking for the next installment of my Blog. I am so glad that this is actually reaching folk and helping, entertaining, enlightening or just giving you something to read. There has been something of a gap since my last post. Here is the reason why!

As you are all aware, I was given my first dose of chemotherapy on Thursday the 22nd of October.  The following day I was given the news that two further tumours have been found (bloody disaster that was!), and I had also injected myself with Lonquex. As you will recall, this is the medication that encourages the fast regrowth of the white blood cells, those are the cells that chemotherapy kills. Now I had been warned that I would experience some aches, as this goes straight to the bone and stimulates the marrow into making cells reproduce fast. Ok, my understanding of 'feeling achy' is that stiff feeling that leaves you rubbing arms, legs or any other areas that may be 'aching'. However, I have since learned that when a professional from the medical world uses the terms...

"...there is a posibility that you may find that you will feel a little achy approximately 12 - 24 hours after injecting this medication!"...

That, in all honesty should translate as...

"...there is a posibility that you may find that you will feel utter pain, writhe in agony, spend two days bed ridden, along with sweating like a jockey's gonads and shaking like a  jelly and suffer quite a sore throat and mouth approximately 12 -24 hours after injecting this medication!"...

...because, My God, that is exactly how this medication affected me, and this is all before the chemotherapy has kicked in. Saying that I felt like a sack of sh*t is a total understatement. This lasted from the Saturday evening right through to the following Wednesday morning. When it eased dramatically and was completely gone by Thursday morning. Just in time for the Chemo side effects to start taking hold. So far... it is not too bad, other than feeling very weak, tired and uttely lethargic.  After phoning the nurse to ask if the reactions I was having to the Lonquex was 'normal', and being told yes, but unfortunately you are experiencing severe reactions, I was at ease, knowing that I was not on the brink of falling off the planet. I was glad to hear that the nurse will be discussing changing this med, for a milder dose that I will have to inject into myself over a period of five days following 24 hours after the next chemo. Anything, absolutely anything, rather than experience that again.

On Sunday I was due to go to out for the night with the seven women I am supposed to be travelling with to Budapest in December. Friday and Saturday, I felt fine, just tired. I am surprised at how very tired I get and how quickly. It was because of this I was doubtful about going out for the meal. We would be meeting up, going around town before going back to the hotel and getting ready for the meal in Sandymount. I discussed it with Gerry and as he rightly pointed out, well you had this all planned, if you feel you can go ahead do so, don't let this cancer dictate how you live. This is a promise I made to myself a month ago when first diagnosed. The one thing that I wanted to be able to do was to continue to live as normal as possible every day. I decided to go.  I met up with the girls and in all honesty, I am glad I did. Everything was 'normal', fun and laughter was had and I actually managed to thoroughly enjoy myself, despite not having a single ounce of alcohol. See Elaine, it can be done!

There is only one thing I can actually complain about (beside the awful effects of the Lonquex),  My tastebuds! I am such a 'foodie', I love good food, wine and Guinness, however now, I cannot taste a thing. I have stopped drinking tea and coffee as they just taste of warm water. Food, any food, is merely a selection of different textures in my mouth, some not too nice at that either. You want to try eating a banana without tastebuds, Oh Holy God, it is like having a 'slimy lump' in  your mouth that ends up as a nasty globule before you swallow it with a mild retch, food and drink has really changed. I am hoping that this will return to normal as soon as possible. 

This morning, I drove the boys to school. It was good to get up, wash, brush my teeth, dress and, in all honesty, feel really good.  I drove the boys to Kilcoole and then came straight back home again. Today, I decided that I am taking it easy, so Book, Sofa and Bronco (my dog) sleeping on my feet while Sylvester (my cat) sleeps on the back of the sofa behind my head it is. I read my book 'The Silent Girls' by Eric Rickstad for a couple of hours. Brilliant, quiet time and book, you just can't beat it. By the time I had read from chapter 23 through to 42, I decided to take a  break and open up the laptop to update my blog. Whilst I was waiting for the laptop to boot up, I scratched one of those annoying little itches you get on your head, almost like a nerve jumping about. Well lo and behold, as I did this, hair just tumbled from my head, as quickly as falling snow. I just could not believe how fast and how much fell out with me scratching my head. I tilted the keyboard and bundled the hair together. I shook off loose hair and added that to the growing pile. I know that they did say at the hospital that it will fall out between weeks two and three following the first chemotherapy session. It is falling out so fast it is unreal. A quick nip to the loo also confirmed that it was not only from my head. My underwear looked like a spider massacre had occurred. No, not a nice image to have in your head, but unfortunately the reality that is now my life, just think of the money I'm going to save on bikini waxings (not that I was brave enough to actually have one, this is theoretically speaking, ha ha ha) and the energy saved on shaving my legs.  A call has just been made to Julie McGuire. Julie is a friend of my daughter Amy, who has become a successful hairdresser over the past four years. Julie will be coming here to shave my head for me. The one look I will definitely not be supporting, is that of a half blown dandelion. Mind you at this rate, I will only have to go for a drive with my window down and I will be getting out of the car looking like a polished bowling ball.  Well, back to my book I think, Julie will be calling me back to let me know when she can get here. In the meantime, feet up, book and enjoy the peace and quiet. Hmmm.... I had better start thinking of what to make for tea tonight too.... Curry sounds good ;)