Sometimes it doesn't just rain, It POURS!

Week 1 After First Chemo Session:

I wasn't expecting to be blogging today. Simply because I knew I would be feeling ok, as they had told me that I won't be feeling too dodgy until around day 7.  I am not feeling dodgy really, there are some skin tingles, which were to be expected, the nausea tablet this morning made me quite drowsy and I slipped in and out of peaceful slumber until about 10:00 today. Suzanne popped in for a quick cuppa at about 11:00 to see if I needed anything. I then continued with my day doing necessary paperwork for work, home and health. I was also aware that the community nurse would be attending this evening to teach me how to give myself an injection. But that wasn't bothering me too much in all honesty. Yes I felt a bit apprehensive but it really was nothing too much to bother about. What did bother me was the letter I recieved this morning. A letter saying to attend for an ultrasound on Monday 2nd November, now why would I need an ultrasound now? All scans have been done, Chemo has started... What now? I decided to ring the liaison nurse who is looking after me throughout this treatment. I rang the number, but all nurses were busy in clinic today. I left a message on the answer machine. I recieved a call at about 4:00p.m.  I said that I was ringing to enquire about the Ultrasound appointment, It then struck me that the only result I had not been given was that of the MRI. So I asked if it was because of the MRI that they wanted to see me for an ultrasound. 

Nurse:  "Yes Elaine, it is about the MRI"

Me:      "Has the MRI picked out more cancer?"

Nurse:  "Yes Elaine, it has, there are a futher two tumours in your breast, we want to see if they are  joined as one somehow or if they are three single tumours, in which case if they are they are only small!"

Me:     "Ok, Now I know I have been told to deal with all immidiate issues, and not to look down the line but now I need to look further down the line. I want to be heard, I want everyone to understand what it is that I want when it comes to surgery. I am aware that I have been told not to think about a mastectomy just  yet, that it may be a lumpectomy, however with this new news, it makes a mastectomy more likely. If that is the case, I want a bi-lateral mastectomy. I know that the consultant was not even prepared to discuss this, however, this is my body, these are my breasts, this is my cancer and this is my fight. When chemo is over I want to permanently shut the door on breast cancer, that means getting rid of both my breasts!"

At this outburst the Nurse patiently listened, told me that she totally understood, but that it was doubtful that the consultant would take away healthy tissue. I pointed out that how is it that a women carrying the gene without any cancer present were given the bilateral mastectomy, I have no cancerous genes in my family nor in me  until this, now it is not only growning at a rate of knots, but it is that little bit more possible that it could spread, just like the person with the genes could get cancer. Sure I have to be listened to, surely I have a valid point? The nurse pointed out that I could have cosmetic surgery.  I pointed out that even thougth this would be expensive as it is considered 'cosmetic', I neither have the finances to cover this and it would also mean having foreign objects inserted into my bust. Yes I have had to have two hips replaced, yes it required inserting foreign metal joints but that was because I needed my hips to walk, fortunately I don't rely on my breasts to carry me around the place... so no... they have to go!

She agreed that I had a good point, would make a note that this needs addressing and that I should be listended to. I think that at this point, I do need to investigate how I stand legally in making sure my requests are met. 

By the way, I give injections like a pro... I didn't feel a thing when being taught to inject myself with the medicaiton that gets the white blood cells regenerating... happy days, another ribbon to add to my bow. In all fairness, the nurse that called, not only taught me well, but had her ear chewed off with my ranting at today's developments. Hats off to our nurses, each and every one of them have, to date, been wonderful and they are certainly worth their own weight in gold. Thanks to each and every one of you, you really don't know how much you do just by listening and being in the front line of fire. You are all amazing.