Monday morning, I woke up having had a bit of a melt down the night before. A fear of the posibility of the cancer having spread had played on my mind. Why? Well I do not know, but this caused something of a meltdown to occur on the Sunday. My husband and children were amazing, but Monday morning, I felt quite angry at myself for allowing this 'meltdown'. Why? because it had upset the people who are doing thier utmost to support me. I know many have said that I am to mind myself now and not worry too much about others, that this is my fight and I am to let any feelings loose. Well I'm sorry, but I tend to disagree, I will always be concerned about the feelings and worries of my Husband and Children. We have come to an agreement now, that if there is anything bothering any of us about this horrible parasite then we will be open and honest and try to discuss any worries and concerns as they arise.
We drove the boys to school and my Husband and Daughter attended the Oncologist appointment with me. My appointment was for 10:00a.m. I arrived there and checked in at 9:40 a.m., by 11:00 a.m. I was still sitting in the waiting room having seen each person who had come in behind me attend their appointment then leave. I approached the receptionist who checked the list and said that yes, I was due in at 10:00 and I should still be in there now.... Hmmm.... She went through and spoke to someone who informed her that I would be next. Again I waited...... By 11:30a.m. I was becoming some what agitated, as was my daughter. My Husband was calm and stated that he hoped we would be seen before 12:00p.m. By 12:00p.m. I began to get quite annoyed, I stood up suddenly glared over at the receptionist (yes I know it was not her fault), I caught her eye immediately and glared at the clock. She looked behind her at the clock and immediately stood and left the desk. In seconds she was back calling my name. Elaine, you can go through now... I was led to an examination room and spoke to a member of the Oncologists team. I was once again asked questions about previous health issues, my age, any medication etc... The consultant came in a moment later and took over. He explained everything and how things are going to progress from here on in. He was clear and concise. He discussed the pros and the cons of treatment. He explained how the treatment works, he also then put a smile on all our faces by telling us that as far as they could see on the CT scan, the cancer had not spread to any other area of my body. This was fantastic news. The Oncologist did explain however that the CT scan cannot pick up cancer cells that are under 2mm in size, it is therefore still possible that there are rogue cells travelling around my body. This is due to the fact that I am lymph node positive. The consultant went on to explain that this was why chemotherapy will be given first, in order to eradicate rogue cells and to hopefully shrink the tumour that has taken residence in my body. There is a 60% chance that this tumour may shrink and if this is the case, a lumpectomy will be carried out. However, should I be one of the 40% cases where the tumour does not shrink then I will need to have a mastectomy. There will be surgery on the lymph nodes after chemotherapy has been carried out and these will be removed. The surgery to the breast will take place at the same time. We discussed the type of tumour, apparently this is fast growing and I am lucky to have found it as early as I have. All questions were answered and we shook hands and parted. I was to pop in and briefly see the nurse who was going to talk to me about what was to happen next. Unfortunately the nurse in question was not there and I was told to expect a call from her the following day.
Tuesday: Today is my 49th birthday. I woke up to lots of fuss, cards, presents, messages online along with well wishing texts. People could not have been kinder. My daughter had given me a beautiful shawl that will come in handy to keep me cozy when I am getting chemotherapy. My daughter lives in Wales and had travelled over to support me at the appointment yesterday. Unfortunately today, she would be returning to Wales. My daughter also had a package in her 
bag that contained gifts from my Sister and Parents. Now I love my family, I know they love me, my sister definitely loves me .... I know... you are probably sensing a 'but'... No, No but's! Diane knows me and knows I love a challenge...
She is not wrong. However a challenge is what she gave me for my birthday, something to keep my mind and hands busy. Yes! that is the 7 x 7 V cube. The wine she sent will help me fathom it out I do believe :) Thank you Sis. I am glad you have such faith in me. I will need to finish the 5 x 5 first though. I drove the boys to school, leaving my daughter to get her packing done and to get ready for the day. We had decided that I would drop off the boys and then my daughter and I would head out for a breakfast treat before she had to leave for the boat. I returned to the house where my daughter's bag was packed and she was ready to go out for breakfast. Our family dog 'Bronco' appeared to know that she was leaving today. He loves her visits and wont leave her alone at all. Today he lay forelornly alongside her suitcase. Sad eyes looking up at her. My daughter also happens to love Bronco. She called to the dog to come and give her a hug, this he did, he nuzzled into her neck and actually whimpered. We decided that we would head out for breakfast and then come back and take Bronco to the port with us. Breakfast at the Blue Cafe in Arklow was excellent. We ate up and went home to put the case in the car along with Bronco. We headed off and were going to detour through Wicklow so that my daughter could say bye to her dad in work. This was done and we drove through the town and headed for the main road. It was decided to call to the school and pick up the boys to come with us, as I would possibly be late back and not in time to pick them up immediately after school. I rang ahead and turned up at the school for the boys. I spoke to one of their teachers who suggested they go home with her today. I agreed and went to set off. I informed the boys that they would be going home with the teacher, she was doing the after school club and they would be home by half past five. Both boys nearly had a hernia at the thought of staying in school until 5. I can't really say I blame them, but I had made the arrangement. If they did not like that then they were to go and inform the teacher in question. This they did and yes they headed to the port with their sister and I. We arrived at the port and all too soon it was time for my daughter to leave. Final bye-byes were said and off she went through the doors to the departure lounge. We returned to the car and headed home. Both boys nodded off to sleep and I chatted to a pal on the phone - hands free of course. We arrived home tea was put on and the boys went off to do their own things. The phone rang. It was the hospital. "Hello Elaine, It is the oncology liaison nurse here, I am calling to ask you to attend the hospital tomorrow, for preparation for chemotherapy. Your Chemotherapy will be starting on Thursday of this week." I thanked her, hung up and said to myself, "Happy Birthday Elaine, that is some present!" The attack on this cancer was about to begin. Off you go tumour, you are not welcome here!
It will be party time this time next year.... that is guaranteed....
Fabulous Elaine, keep it coming xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Sis xx
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